My Self-Care Musings

So it got me thinking, what exactly is self-care? The definitions I found with Google search were quite clinical and varied a lot depending on who was defining it. I concluded that what we understand to be self-care will be different from person to person and depend on their individual circumstances and needs. What self-care looks like to me will be different to what self-care looks like to you. 

This led me down the path of attempting to define what self-care means to me. For me, self-care includes both my internal environment and my external environment. It is the conscious decisions I make and the conscious acts I take to act in my own best interest, even when I don’t feel like doing it. It is nourishing myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. 

I know when I prioritise my own needs and take care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually others benefit. When I take care of my physical health I have more energy and can physically do more. When I take care of my mental health I feel more positive and have greater clarity. When I take care of my emotional health I have more compassion. When I take care of my spiritual health I feel nourished and supported. When I take care of me I feel more empowered. All these things make me more resilient and also better equipped to support and care for others. 

So if I know all of this, and one of the core aims of ‘My Witchy Shop’ is to encourage and support self-care….But I have a confession I am not doing the work myself. So why am I not paying more attention to my own self-care on a daily basis?

Self-care has become a bit of a buzzword, and judgements on self-care are changing, I’m sure we have all heard the saying ‘self-care is not selfish’ However, I, like many others do not make my self-care a daily habit, I don’t prioritise it. Why? Is it because prioritising yourself is often viewed in the negative, as selfish or egotistical? We are raised, especially as females, to put the needs of others before our own. I think this has a big part to play in why self-care is something we do when we have time rather than on a daily basis. Therefore, in order to make self-care a priority we need to change our mindset and go against many beliefs we were raised to have. 

Self-care is hard, it takes effort, it takes motivation and commitment. I am more motivated to do things for those I care about than myself because I love and value them and want to demonstrate that. When it comes to myself, I often take the easy option rather than the more difficult option. It is often easier not to go for that walk than make the effort to put on my shoes and get out into the fresh air, even though I know the walk would benefit me physically, mentally and spiritually. It’s easier to sit scrolling on my phone than spending time journalling. Am I alone in taking the easier option for myself or can you relate?

Is it because I value others more than myself? Am I not worthy of my care and attention? Is my well-being important? Of course it is, but I think again it comes back to mindset and conditioning. Growing up I was conditioned to care for others, it was my responsibility to care for my younger brother, household chores became my responsibility because my mum worked full-time and was too tired after work. When I was bullied at school I was told I was to sensitive and to shy and I should just try and make friends. I was told I would make a great nurse and was directed down that path. My own needs and wants were often ignored and as a consequence, I sometimes find it difficult to recognise my own needs or to prioritise them. 

Today I suddenly remembered that some time ago, when I was struggling to recognise my self-care needs I wrote two lists for myself. I wrote the lists then tucked them away and promptly forgot about them. I have found those lists and shared them with you below. I recognise the importance of self-care and I recognise I have not been giving it the attention it needs, today I make a promise to myself to prioritise my self-care because I am worthy, my well-being is important and when I prioritise my self-care others benefit. 

Each day this week I will do 1 thing from each list and share on my social media accounts @danaredmoon

My Self-care tool kit

List 1 - The things I probably don’t want to do or struggle to do, but I know I will benefit from

• Do the thing I am putting off
• Take a walk
• Do some yoga or Pilates
• Journal
• Meditate or mindfulness practice
• Do a chore - declutter and clean my space
• Cook a nice nutritious meal
• Eat breakfast 
• Drink more water than coffee
• Do not read comments on social media when I know they are going to upset me or anger me
• Stay off my phone until I am washed, dressed and ready for the day

List 2 - The nice stuff

• Have a bath
• Paint my nails
• Dress up, put makeup on
• Watch a feel-good TV programme/film
• Go to bed early with a book 
• Play music loud and dance
• Light candles and turn on the fairy lights to create a calm, cosy atmosphere
• Use incense and scented candles to create a mood  
• Spend time at my altar connecting to my inner self and the universe
• Practice with my Tarot cards
• Spend half an hour each evening chatting with my husband with no distractions